Up On The Roof (homicidal parody)

When this old world starts getting me down

And people are just too much for me to face

I climb way up to the top of the stairs

And fit my Remington rifle right into place

On the roof, I cock the barrel slow

And aim at anyone that I don’t know

Let me tell you now

When I come home feelin' tired and beat

I go up where the air is fresh and sweet (up on the roof)

I get away from the hustling crowd

And pick them off while they are on the street (up on the roof)

On the roof, the only place I know

Where you just have to shoot to make fun grow

Let's go up on the roof (up on the roof)

brief instrumental-chiefly strings

At night the stars put on a show for free

And smile down on my evil killing spree

I keep a-tellin' you

Right smack dab in the middle of town

I've found a shooting range that's sorrow proof (up on the roof)

If you can’t stomach knifing them down

There's room enough for two

Up on the roof (up on the roof)

Up on the roo-oo-oof (up on the roof)

Oh, come on, baby (up on the roof)

Oh, come on, honey (up on the roof)

[Fade]

Everything is all right (up on the roof)

Humanist or Church of Poquito Mas?

After a long year, not to mention lifetime, of God-this and God-that, a friend sent me the link to a new group, at least new to me, of ‘Humanists’. A group of people who say, “Forget about God and be good ‘For Goodness’ Sake’!” I think it’s great.

But if you are not into that, I propose a new idea: The Church of Poquito Mas. And I officially declare November 16th the Holy Day. God is a plate of pipin’ hot chicken nachos and in worship of the God, you eat it. You eat God. The Chicken Nachos God. Hallelujah!

Or you can go to The Humanists website. That’s good, too…

Damn Mormons!!

When will religion die? When will people see it is not the ‘Be All End All’ that money hungry people will present to the weary so they can get their payday? When will people think for themselves about what is wrong and what is right? Why does wrong and right have to encompass what other people do that doesn’t hurt us?

   I live in West Hollywood. It’s been days of protesting because some Mormons (in another state!!), decided their campaign against gay marriage is the most important thing in their lives at this moment. How convenient. Honestly, I would think they’d be glad to relieve the male competition through other intimate, sexual and financial means and obligations, but obviously that is not the case. These religions can’t be trusted and left to their own devices. Isn’t Mormonism a very secretive religion with “special underwear?” We have let a religion of “special underwear” - only born in the last century - override the human initiative to bond on levels beyond the ancient stereotype? Well, why not, right? These bastard men have brainwashed women into subservience and want it to be so very right and convenient for them to deposit their sperm into as many underage girls as possible. Of course! Mature adults of the same gender should not be able to wed, why? Because they are mature adults. In Mormonism, maturity is, obviously, the enemy! Unless, you are the prevailing and privileged white man. One show, “Big Love”, and they think they can run things! Hey, if you’re a pervert, Mormonism and Catholicism is for you. But how, in this day and age, could we let these crazies make our laws as perverse as they are?? I’m a little freaked out. We may have made a giant leap as a collective to appoint Barack as our leader, but obviously, ladies and gentlemen, we have a long way to go. The next step? Offering up our children to slavery and prostitution.

Sarah Palin

So far, my favorite sum up of Sarah Palin - It is clear, at this point, that the question is not whether or not Palin is qualified enough to be Vise President, it is whether or not she is qualified enough to be Senator of Alaska.

   

Religulous--a review

I saw "Religulous" yesterday.

It was a perfect day, really. I live in West Hollywood, so after awaking to gray skies and eminent rain - after a few days of the kind of heat that drove me from Texas - I rejoiced and walked with my fair husband to our local breakfast haunt. I ordered the Jacintos platter of scrambled egg, Italian sausage, peppers and curry (smothered in Chalula...yumsters!!), and forced myself not to stare at the people to the left and right of us, since we were seated in the middle of a long table.

At some point, our right-ie friends left-ie and I pulled the discarded magazine towards me. L.A. City Beat. I took it home and read the review for "Religulous", which made me happy. We went to see it.

It made me laugh, and at the end, I had to work really hard to keep from crying. Maybe if Tyra Banks had not been so close the entire time, I might have. But she is evil and one must be at the ready at all times around Satanic forces, let alone religious forces. Arguably, after seeing this documentary, the forces are one and the same.

The talk of "self-fulfilled prophecy" and how we will come to the inevitable end that we believe in so wholeheartedly without any logic whatsoever just because some guys wrote down dreams, made me want to cry. So many crazy people running around that would ruin everyone else's visit here because their silly beliefs don't match their silly beliefs, kills me. One day it may literally kill me. It is the repressed and crazy people who run things, and that, my friend, is depressing. "The meek" that will inherit the earth, are the bacteria that survives after we have bombed everything into nuclear extinction. The religions are archaic, nonsensical and so far from pro human that I wonder why these crazy people don't just kill themselves to get to their better and promised lands, (a point he makes in the show that is probably far understated). Hey, at least the Comet-hopping people in San Diego jumped towards their psychopathic nirvana. And in Reeboks!

And the most important point, is that those of us who believe that way should not hide in the closet. I am a closet atheist. I am affiliated with no religion, happily. I can question the world and not feel like a big man in the sky is going to strike me down. And, I believe if you are going to believe in fairy tales, it might as well be something a little more fun. Like say...Greek Mythology! Those gods and goddesses did some crazy shit, and they had fun, too! Naughty deities...rrrrahhr...

Anyway, I cannot hide in the closet anymore. I may not preach from the pulpit about my anti-Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, Hinduism, Mormon, Bhuddist, Satanic faith, but I feel a little more confident - when asked - in saying that I do not subscribe to stories about things that don't make sense to me. I love a good story, but I love myself above all others. No god can make me feel more purpose than I feel when I look at or think about my child. To me, maybe he is God. At least God-like, until he pisses me off and then he's just a little shit. But I digress...

Thank you, Bill Maher. Good show!